Tim Payne

I Found Jesus In The Bathroom At Work

This is in our bathroom at work, right in front of the toilet. Nothing like trying to do your business with Jesus staring at you from next to the cross. While I can see how it could cause some “stage fright,” I like to look at it as a reminder that no matter how crappyContinue reading “I Found Jesus In The Bathroom At Work”

Well This Is Awkward…

What do you do when you are in a new place and need to use the restroom, but when you get to the door you can’t figure out if it’s a multiple or single person facility? Knocking is a good option if it turns out to be a single, but if it’s a multiple personContinue reading “Well This Is Awkward…”

3…2…1…0

Sometimes while I am driving I will start counting down from 3 and when I get to 0 I either point, snap, or finger shoot at the clock and hope I timed it just right so the minute changes at that very moment. I also do this with wall clocks, traffic lights, long stretches ofContinue reading “3…2…1…0”

First…Third…What About Second?

I often hear people talk about Third World countries. I occasionally hear people talk about First World countries. I don’t recall ever hearing anything about Second World countries. Are there Second World countries? Or are Third World countries just so bad that they aren’t considered just one step down from First World countries, so theyContinue reading “First…Third…What About Second?”

Ashley’s First Snowman

This is our adopted Mississipian Ashley with his very first snowman. This is from a while back, but today’s Spring snow reminded me of it. It may not be a perfect snowman, but by golly he’s proud of it! And we are proud of you ‘Shley!

Pump It Up

When I’m not stopping my total gas purchase on a number pattern, I like to try to let off the pump at a predetermined total. I know that I can’t possibly be the only who does…in fact, if I had to guess I would say that about 92.6% of all gas pumpers have tried thisContinue reading “Pump It Up”

Have I Really Reached You?

Why do people say on their voicemail/answering machine message “You have reached ______”? That doesn’t seem like an accurate statement. If I had reached you I wouldn’t have to leave a message. In fact, I am leaving you a message because I couldn’t reach you. You know what? Forget it. I’m not leaving a message.Continue reading “Have I Really Reached You?”

Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?

If you ever see me looking down at my watch for an inordinate amount of time it’s probably not because I have somewhere important to be or because I have forgotten how to read time. If you see me having a staring contest with my watch it’s probably because I am waiting to see aContinue reading “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?”

Laugh, Laugh, And Laugh Some More

I think stand-up comedians have it made. Think about it. The majority of people in the audience are there because they have heard their material before and obviously liked it (why would you go see a comedian who you didn’t think was funny?). Not only have they heard and liked what the comedian said onContinue reading “Laugh, Laugh, And Laugh Some More”

That’s Exactly How I Would Have Described It

Best meteor description ever? You decide: “My friend and I witnessed a tremendous bright light, in the western sky. For a second the object lit the Cedar Valley sky like it was day. Then a brilliant streak of light followed. It was like a slow moving lighting, similar to an enormous magnesium flare. This lastedContinue reading “That’s Exactly How I Would Have Described It”