Well, it’s all loaded up and ready to go. We had a great day today – got to see most of our family and friends one last time before we head out. Every time I see them it reminds me of how much we’re going to miss them. I won’t lie – it’s more than a little bittersweet.
It’s unreal how blessed and fortunate we are to have such amazing people in our lives. I promise to do my best to keep in touch and you all must do the same.
Thanks to everyone who came today for a great day filled with a water fight, an early birthday party with a super rad Curious George cake, living room baseball/basketball, dart wars, and good old-fashioned hanging out. Can a single day get much better than that? Take away the part where we have to say goodbye to everyone and it’s pretty much perfect.
We just want all our family and friends to know that we love you and can’t wait to see you again. Let us know if there’s ever anything we can do for you. And be sure to keep in touch and come out to see us sometimes.
We could’t ask for better family and friends. Thanks again for all you do and for being more than we could ever expect or deserve.
Less than one week from today we will be moving to Colorado. Wow. I’m not sure what to think, what to write, or even what to do. I think the reality of it is starting to set in. For the first time in my life, I am going to be making my permanent residence outside the state of Missouri. Don’t get me wrong – Colorado is nice and I’ve always liked it, but Missouri is home. It’s where I was born and raised. I like it here. It’s familiar. It’s comfortable.
I realize that from the outside looking in, our decision to move makes absolutely no sense at all. Let me assure you, from the inside looking out it seems just as crazy. The responsible thing would be to stay in a place where we both have decent jobs and a church, friends, and family that we love. Of course that would be the responsible thing, but it takes no faith to do that. I have tried everything I can think of to justify staying where we’re at. I have tried coming up with a reason why we shouldn’t go. After all those attempts failed, I realized that all I was doing was running from what God is calling us to do.
I always thought that if God was going to call us to go somewhere, He would at least provide us with a job, a place of our own to stay, and whatever we need to make our transition as easy on us as possible. The only problem with that is that we are never promised comfort, ease, or answers. Sometimes we just need to go and trust that God is going to take care of the details. Sure they seem like pretty big details, but our God is a pretty big God.
So as we make the move from Missouri to Colorado, we are trusting God and relying on Him to provide now more than ever before. We are also realizing that it’s possible to be scared out of our minds, but totally at peace at the same time…what a strange combination.
As we make our move and go about our lives, I am going to try to keep people updated on what’s going on. I intend to post updates as often as possible so that everyone that cares will know what’s going on with us. Feel free to let me know if you have questions or comments, or if you think of anything specific that you would like me to write about or keep you updated on.
I wish I had more answers. I wish I always had the right words to say. I wish I always knew what to do to make people feel better. It seems like I am constantly hearing of another person going through something that no one should ever have to go through. There are people struggling with physical problems – injuries, abuse, sickness, disease, disabilities, and constant pain. There are people struggling with emotional problems – depression, insecurity, hopelessness, negative self-image, emotional abuse, and unworthiness. When I hear of people struggling with something it makes me feel so helpless. I want to make everything better, but then I realize that there’s not much I can do. I guess if I always knew what to do to make people feel better, had the right words to say, and had all the answers, that would make me God…and God knows I am far from it.
Some people receive physical or emotional healing, but others never do. For those that do, it is only a temporary healing. There is no guarantee that once you are healed or relieved of your struggles that you will never go through the same thing again. We are sick. We are hurting. We are broken. We always will be as long as we are on this side of eternity. We live in a broken world where life is hard. We are never promised an easy life.
The only permanent healing comes after this life is over. It’s not easy or pleasant to think about and it’s even harder to accept, but the only way we can experience what we most desire (permanent healing) is by first experiencing what we least desire (death).
I love the song “You Hold Me Now” by Hillsong United. Every time I listen to it I am reminded that no matter how bad life gets, no matter what we are going through, no matter how much sickness or pain we have to endure – for those who have surrendered their lives to God there is always healing at the end of the sickness, pain, and struggle.
One of my favorite parts of the song is the part that says:
In the light of Your embrace
Where Your love is all I need
And forever I am free
It makes me think of the feeling you get when you are upset, sad, crying, or feeling helpless and someone that cares comes along and they reach out and wrap you in their arms and embrace you. It doesn’t solve all your problems, but it does help take your mind off them a little and realize that maybe it will be okay. When we are with God and in His embrace, not only will it feel better and take your mind off what you are going through – your problems and pain will actually be swept away and will be no more.
Open wide your heart in complete surrender to God and let Him embrace you.
Just so you don’t think I am always picking on Wal-Mart…I saw this beauty at Target a while back. I don’t know about you, but this is not the same as any strawberry smoothie I’ve ever had. I don’t know about you, but I can honestly say that I’ve never had a green strawberry smoothie.
How do we know for sure that we don’t know what is going on around us after we die?
I’ve often wondered what it would be like to be aware of what’s happening around me after I die. Obviously, it would be a lot less fun and interesting to be aware of what is happening post-burial, but up until that point it would be fascinating. It would be fascinating to be able to see and experience what takes place around you from death to grave, but what would it really be like?
I have plenty of questions about what it would be like, but I have far fewer answers. By “far fewer” I mean zero. Here are some of my questions:
1. Would we just be completely paralyzed – knowing and understanding what’s going on, but unable to participate?
2. Would we only be able to see what comes directly into our line of sight or would we somehow be fully aware of what is going on all
around us?
3. Would we be able to feel anything physically or emotionally?
4. Would we still have to sleep or would we be able to stay awake the entire time and not have to miss anything?
5. How do we know for certain that we aren’t aware of what’s going on around us from the time we die until the time we are put in the
ground?
I don’t have any proof that this is in any way true, but is there any indisputable proof that it’s not? It’s not as though we can get a definitive answer from someone who has already died. We can ask them, but a lack of an answer could mean no or it could simply mean that they aren’t able to communicate.
Are we aware of what goes on around from the time we die until we are put in the ground? I don’t know. There’s really no way to know for sure until it actually happens. If there is no way to know, what is the point in even discussing it? What a waste of time.
Why do we help people? Why do we give to people in need? Why do we do anything for others that takes away from ourselves? Do we do it because that’s what we are supposed to do? Or do we do it because in the back of our minds we are thinking that if we do something for someone else or give to someone in need we will be blessed in return? Do we ever actually do anything without expecting something in return?
I think that a lot of times we end up helping or giving to others with the expectation that we will be blessed in return. We may not consciously think about it, but I’m sure we would all admit that we get disappointed if we do something for someone else and then something bad (or nothing good) happens to us soon after. We think to ourselves, “Why is this happening to me?” or “I give and give and constantly help people – so why doesn’t anything good happen to me?”
The reason we get disappointed is because our expectations were not met. Our expectation is that if we are generous or do something good for someone else, we will receive blessings because of our actions. Those expectations come from constantly being told that if we are generous, we will be blessed because of it.
For some, it is the promise of financial blessing as a result of giving that motivates them. Others are told, “God might not bless you monetarily, but…” just in case they don’t receive any financial blessings because of what they do. The problem is that even when we qualify it with that statement, it puts the thought and expectation in our head that if we do good and are generous we will be blessed because of our actions, whether financially or otherwise.
I realize that the Bible makes reference to this (Psalm 112:5; Proverbs 11:25; Proverbs 22:9; etc.) and I believe that God does bless those who are generous, but we need to check our motives from time to time and make sure that we are being generous and helping others with pure intentions. We need to stop thinking about what will happen after the fact and start helping people just because they need help, especially when helping someone or being generous means that we will be put in a difficult position.
I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to all this. I like to think that I am a generous person and that I am willing to help anyone that I see in need, but when it comes down to it I am just as selfish and self-centered as anyone else. It’s easy to help people when it’s convenient for us and when it doesn’t make our lives any more difficult, but the times when we are truly generous are when we don’t think about how it will affect us or what will happen after we help that person. If we help people and give to those in need and don’t think about how it affects us or our situation, then our motives are pure and we will be blessed.
Is it just me or does it seem a bit anticlimactic to clean up party decorations while the person being celebrated is still there? I realize that things have to be cleaned up at some point, but can’t it at least wait until the person whose party it is has left the building…or at least the room?
Cleaning up while the person is kind of like saying “Okay, we’re done celebrating you now, so lets just get rid of all this stuff – you had your time.” I’m sure it makes the person who the party was thrown for feel real special. We might as well be saying “We only care about you enough to celebrate you from this time to that time, then it’s over.”
What is the proper amount of time for a party anyway? What if the party goes longer than expected – how long over the planned time should you wait before starting the cleanup? Personally, I would say just leave all balloons out until they shrivel up and leave all food out until it eventually gets eaten. Maybe that’s why I’m not usually in charge of parties…
Saw this library in Mapleton, KS – it may be the sorriest city library I’ve ever seen. I think that one of the strangest things about it is that it’s located at the end of the driveway of one of the houses in town. I don’t know if it’s actually even open anymore…if not, what exactly does that say about the town?
The savings never cease at Wal-Mart! This exquisite planner has been marked down to the insanely low price of $18.97. It even comes with several bonus months! Now tell me – where else are you going to find last year’s planner for that price? No one can compete with Wal-Mart! They are going to be the death of all those mom & pop stores that specialize in selling expired and useless junk. Poor mom and/or pop.
TIM PAYNE 