I was recently at a nursing home, waiting for the nurse to check on something, and was looking for something to keep me busy while I waited. So I began reading the signs on the wall. Mostly normal stuff…until I got to the list of codes that they use in case of emergency.
Most of the codes were normal…Code Red is what they announce in case of a fire…stuff like that. Then I came across one that I had never seen before. This particular nursing home apparently feels the need to announce “Code Yellow” in the event of…NUCLEAR ATTACK!
Maybe it’s just me, but does that not seem like the most useless code ever? Especially considering where it was posted. No offense to the octogenarians out there, but I’m pretty sure that if there is ever a nuclear attack, someone yelling “Code Yellow” over the P.A. system is not going to make them move any quicker or survive any longer.
The other problem I see with this is the color of the code. It seems to be that if there is ever a nuclear attack, the more appropriate code would be Code Brown (for obvious reasons)…or perhaps, “Code Oh Sh** It’s A Nuclear Attack!”
What really amazes me is that they actually have a code for a nuclear attack at a nursing home. Is this something they practice and prepare for often? What is standard procedure for protecting oneself during a nuclear attack? Do they issue each resident a gas mask and some sort of body armor? Or do they just tell them to hunker down and hope for the best? I’m guessing it’s not stop, drop, and roll – although that could make for quite the entertaining final few minutes.
Seriously though, is there a more useless code than a code for nuclear attack? And at that point, do you really need to announce that you have been attacked nuclearly in code form? For that matter, why do people feel the need to announce most things in code? Fires, floods, spills, lost kids…are these things that really need to be kept secret? How cool would it be to have all the codes memorized at every place you go, just so that when you hear a code announced over the P.A. system, you could just shout out what that code means so that everyone can know what’s going on?
What other weird codes have you heard? Are there any situations that you think could benefit from being coded that don’t already have a code?